1 Peter 3:1-12

Peter had spent the first two chapters of this letter explaining lots of doctrine pertaining to Jesus and salvation, and how it relates to us as Christians. In the first chapter Peter explained that through the resurrection of Jesus Christ we also share in resurrection, which means we have a new birth and a living hope. We have an inheritance and are shielded through faith. In the second half of the first chapter, he explained that because know we are called to this glorious state with God, we should live our lives in a way that’s holy or set apart for God’s glory. In all that we do, we should be doing that for the Glory of God, or we should be doing that in a holy way. Chapter 2 explained that because we are called to holiness we should rid ourselves of malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander. We should be working to grow our salvation and we should crave the pure spiritual milk which comes from the word of God. That means we should not be static Christians, but we should be growing in our faith and studying scripture. Peter then identified Jesus Christ as the fulfillment of this Messianic prophecy found in Isaiah. That Jesus Christ was the stone that builders had rejected, but he was chosen and precious to God and was to become the cornerstone of our faith, the foundation of our salvation, and the base on which our entire relationship with God is built. In the second half of chapter 2, he spoke about how we should live on this earth as exiles, and should submit to authority, even if we are punished harshly and unfairly. He mentioned that Slaves should submit to their masters, which today we can read to mean debtors submit to creditors, employees submit to employers. And if we are treaded unfairly by our master, it is a glorious or commendable thing to God because by submitting we are following in Christ’s footsteps, and living with Christ as our example. When Jesus suffered unfairly he was showing us what it meant to submit to unfairness, but he was doing more than just that. He also taking our sin upon himself, purifying us, healing us, and restoring our relationship with God. Submission on Earth should point people towards God. If you submit to harshness, especially for doing something right, you are pointing people towards the cross. He continues in chapter 3;

Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

Wives In the same way should submit to their husbands. When he says in the same way, we should look back to what same way he was referring to, and the most recent relationship he was talking about means wives submit to husbands in the same way that slaves submit to masters. I would hope the relationship between modern day spouses is a bit more voluntary and two way than a slave to a master. But Peter makes that comparison and recommends submission. Why does Peter teach the importance of submission? The goal for submission isn’t worldly. It doesn’t just happen to be a product of a patriarchal culture at the time of writing. Peter isn’t arguing that men are better at leading, or decision making, or that men are in any way worthy of an authority or leadership role in a relationship. The purpose for the submission is the same as the purpose for slaves to submit to their masters. To give God Glory. Peter gives an example, if a woman submits to her unbelieving husband, she may win him over just by showing him purity and demonstrating reverence to God in her life. Instead of telling her husband about reverence and purity, she shows him. The Bible is not saying this directly here, it’s kind of indirect, but I’d admittedly mention that men aren’t good at being told what to do. They respond much better to being shown an example.

If someone tells me, “you should love God,” I am likely to say, “of course I love God, I know that already”. But if I saw someone demonstrate the effects of a strong love for God in their conduct, like patience, peace, compassion, I might respond differently. I might say, “wow, that person is really compassionate, I wonder why?” finding out they are Christian, I might realize that they are demonstrating their love for God in a way that I had never considered. I might see a new way to worship God in my deeds, with my life. I might realize that when I say I loved God before, I really just loved some aspect of him, for instance, I love that God forgave me from my sin, but I didn’t let that love flow into a relationship with my neighbor. I might discover that I had some layer of unbelief that resulted in inactivity or an inconsistent set of actions. So the love I had for God may not have manifested itself into action or bore fruit. The love I had for God may have just been appreciation for not punishing me, but it wasn’t a reverent love, or if it was, I didn’t revere God in a way that led to a behavior that others could observe. Maybe it’s just in a certain area of my life, or many areas. Whether you’re a man or a woman, teaching by example tends to be more effective than using words. So it’s important to remember we should be living as an example for others to observe. Not everyone likes being watched, but as Christians we’re constantly being observed, & actions speak louder than words.

3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

If you look at these two verses alone, you might come to a conclusion that women are forbidden to wear jewelry or certain hairstyles. That’s the danger of taking a verse here or there out of context. But it happens! Some churches or different faith based communities are very strict on dress codes and whether or not certain hairstyles are acceptible. We aren’t saved by our outfits or our hairstyles, the Bible is clear on that. Salvation doesn’t come from a dress code or appearance. And it’s ridiculous to think that’s the case. Imagine you can have a haircut that is so bad it could send you to hell, or a haircut that’s so good that you don’t need Jesus anymore. We aren’t saved by our beauty or how we present ourselves. In fact, the Bible teaches that the better we try to present ourselves to God, the more we will be ultimately humbled. The more we try to make ourselves presentable and acceptible before God, the more we demonstrate that we don’t understand how Biblical salvation works. Make no mistake: We are saved by Christ on the cross. By no other name on Earth or in Heaven. By Christ alone. We are not saved by our works, but by God’s grace through faith, and even that faith doesn’t come from us. So to a diligent reader of the Bible, or even to a casual reader, it’s clear that Peter’s instruction here cannot be related to salvation. And when you actually look at the wording of the instruction you see it isn’t even prohibitive. He doesn’t restrict jewelry, he doesn’t condemn hairstyles or abolish certain clothes. He says your beauty shouldn’t come from those things. You might dress nicely, and that’s ok. You might even be known as the person who dresses in fancy clothes, but Peter is saying that shouldn’t be the big thing that defines you for who you are. You should strive to be be recognized for your beautiful spirit more so than your beautiful exterior. Beauty shouldn’t come from outward things. Magazines or advertisements will rarely tell you that, but that’s what the Bible says.

True beauty comes from your inner self. Your personality. And the qualities of your personality that Peter mentions here that are glorifying to God are gentleness and a quiet spirit. We should be a people who are gentle with one another, because God is gentle with us. Peter says women should have a quiet spirit. Now when we read these words today, we might think we understand the meaning, and it means a woman needs to be submissive to her husband, quiet and should be seen and not heard. This interpretation is actually more modern and incorrect. The concept of seen and not heard is the exact opposite of what Peter is getting at. He is actually warning against women being judged on appearance. Regardless of our genders, if we worry about how we appear or how we come across on a superficial level, we are concerning ourselves with the judgement of other men and women. God knows us as deep as our innermost core of our being. So when we are focused on external, it can’t be for God! When we focus on the judgement of humans, we are trusting in ourselves and our outward beauty or social behavior to win approval of other humans, and that’s not the goal. Peter’s instruction is to focus on our spirit or disposition, and that should be humble and trusting in God. Again, Peter isn’t saying Women need to be quiet first and foremost, it’s not about volume. The words that describe a gentle, quiet spirit are actually the same words used to describe the biblical prophecy of Christ’s entrance to Jerusalem in Zecheraiah 9:9 ‘Behold, your king is coming to you, humble, and mounted on a donkey…’. A quietness of spirit means we should be quiet, calm, and trusting in God to right the wrongs in the world.

5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Peter describes examples of women of the past who demonstrated beauty. How did women adorn themselves? They submitted to their husbands. The submission wasn’t just about a woman giving up their way. Or deferring to the will of the guy, because he’s dominant and bigger. There is a Biblical reason for the submission. When we see Sarah obeying Abraham, even more importantly we see Abraham obeying and trusting God. Women are called to submit to husbands, but the implicit understanding is that those husbands are submitting themselves to God. If the husband isn’t submitting to God, the woman will win over her husband without words, but with action and an attitude towards Godliness and purity and holiness. The relationship is important because it should always give glory to God. It’s kind of like what we talked about last time. Peter said we should submit to the authorities or the government, because Authority is from God and those who rule or Govern are called by God to punish wrongdoing and commend good works. If a government isn’t commending what’s right and punishing wrongdoing, then they aren’t doing what God has intended for them to do. By submitting to God, you will resist the improper authority. When you resist an improper government you will fail to submit to their authority and you will potentially be wrongfully punished. Similarly, if your husband is honoring God, you should submit to him and to God. If your husband dishonors or disobeys God, you can submit to God first and foremost, and hopefully win him over when he sees the purity and reverence in your life. Peter says to not give way to fear. When we live our lives worrying about what others think of us, instead of God, we are giving way to the fear of man instead of fearing God. We will discuss fear a bit later, but a misguided fear will lead to all sorts of misaligned priorities, like worrying about outward adornment or jewelry or hairstyles.

7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Peter urges husbands to be considerate with their wives. If wives are to submit to their husbands, the relationship shouldn’t be “my way or the highway. I’ve spoken, end of story” Husbands should be considerate. They should consider their wives opinions and their feelings, they should care for the things that their wives care about. They should make decisions and choices with their wives best interests in mind, thinking about how the choices they make will impact the happiness and well being of the wife. Peter says the women are the weaker partner, and that’s another translation that doesn’t really sound as good if you just read it with today’s ears and don’t think of the intention. When you describe one partner as weaker in modern usage of the word weak it sounds entirely negative. The spanish NIV adds they are a more fragile vase or container. And that’s better; the intended implication is that women are fragile, delicate, more precious and need to be handled with more care and gentleness, protection. Simply using the word Weak alone doesn’t really do Peter’s message justice. Because there is a beauty that’s implied here. Weak isn’t always bad, and that’s consistent throughout scripture too. If we are familiar with Paul’s letters, especially in 2nd corinthians 12, we understand that God’s grace is sufficient for us, not our own strength. And we know that God’s divine power is perfected in our weakness. Paul asserts that when we are weak, then we are strong. In Romans 8, Paul also writes that the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. In Isaiah 40:29, we read that God gives power to the faint, and to he who has no might he increases strength. Biblical teaching and doctrine tells us that we experience God’s provision and help and mercy through weakness. Mentioning Paul’s letters to supplement Peter’s instruction, Paul also writes similar instructions to husbands and wives, and in Ephesians 5:25 husbands are to love their wives the same way Christ loved the church. The way men are supposed to love their wives is the way Jesus loved the church. It’s not just an emotional love, or infatuation. Love doesn’t just lead to words, but it’s action. Not just doing nice things here and there, but a self sacrificial love. Jesus Christ didn’t just like the church, or have a fling with the church. His love was one that resulted in sacrifice. Not an occasional sacrifice, but a permanent and irreversible one. He layed his life down for the church. Husbands are called to lay down their lives for their wives, just as Jesus layed his life down for the church. Similar to how Jesus layed down his life for the church, Men are called to give ourselves up for our wives, in order to make them radiant, cleansed, washed, pure. In Ephesians Paul explains we are to feed and care for our wives, just as Christ feeds and cares for his church. Peter says we are to be considerate, and that means considering what our wives need to be fed and cared for. Feeding and caring has a very physical dimension, nourishing and taking care of a body, but feeding and caring have a more deeper meaning. It’s not just basic needs, but instruction, care, respect, affection. Men, our wives are fellow heirs of God’s promises, his gift of life. We should respect and love and nurture our wives even if that means giving up ourselves and our ambitions, our lives. This is how Christ loved his bride. We don’t want our prayers to be hindered or our relationship with God to be diminished because we fail to view our wives with the love and respect that Jesus showed for his Church. If you are married, this relationship is one primary way God intends for you to demonstrate love and give Glory to him and to learn how Jesus Loved the Church.

8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

Peter tells the readers to be like minded. We shouldn’t be disagreeable or insist on our own way. However as far as doctrine and our faith go, we should stand by scripture and be unwavering in terms of following God’s word as it’s written. Like minded means we get along and try to make amends if we accidentally wrong someone. Being like minded means giving up the right to be offended by someone else when they do something that wrongs you. Jesus said we were to forgive those people seventy times seven times. Having a spirit of forgiveness means giving others the benefit of the doubt and understanding that they might be coming from a different place than we think. We should strive to be sympathetic towards each other. These characteristics of our relationships with each other should glorify God, and should be motivated by love for God and love for one another. Peter is telling us not to repay evil with evil or insult for insult. This is the same man who drew a sword and cut off the ear of the servant of the high priest. Over the years Peter learned the lessons from the sermon on the mount, that we should be an example, we should repay evil with blessing. This is what Jesus taught in words, but he also demonstrated the lesson when he prayed for those who beat him. Repaying evil for evil or dishing out karma might feel satisfying, but that’s not who we are. God removed our hearts of stone, he gave us a heart of flesh. We were born again of the spirit. We are called to a new identity, to be different, and the reward for being different is a blessing that far surpasses any reward we’d give to ourselves by exacting revenge. Now I know verse 8 begins with the word “Finally” which might be a good place to end, but I will end with the next three verses contain Peter’s quoting Psalm 34:12-16, which say

10 For,
“Whoever would love life and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.
11 They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” [Psalm 34:12-16]

Psalm 34 is a psalm of David and the theme is about praising the Lord, giving him glory and praise even if you are afflicted. David said he sought the Lord, and delivered him from what he feared. The tone is that God will provide and God will deliver us from our troubles. Those who fear the Lord will receive his protection. It’s important to distinguish different fears. When you fear something you comprehend the power of that thing, and the ability of that thing to give or take away life, comfort, prosperity, pain, suffering. Healthy fear can allow us to avoid a dangerous situation or take precaution. But a phobia would lead to you overestimating the power of that driver. Fear is important, and can be understood as a respect for that thing. I plan to be traveling to the Grand Canyon soon, and I’ve been there before. It’s a beautiful place, and impossible to comprehend from pictures, movies, or even imax movies. Maybe a virtual reality headpiece can start to help, but you really need to be there. When you are there you feel a respect and appreciation for the enormity of this canyon. There are about 12 deaths per year from falling off the grand canyon, about 310 per year in all National Parks. Apparently people don’t respect the size or the scope of that altitude drop. They had an inadequate sense of fear, or they miscalculated their position before they took their selfie. Most normal people kind of change their behavior when they are near a sharp drop off, and that’s a healthy reaction. We respect the idea that a drop from that height would end our lives, our hearts might flutter. When you feel so small and this thing seems so large, it begins to cause something like a reverent fear, it’s not like you are scared of it, but it’s a respect for that other thing. And the Grand Canyon is a hole! It’s not a thing, but an absense of rock. Imagine the fear we should feel towards the creator of terrain, the creator of the entire world, and the universe! That reverent fear is how we approach the Fear of the Lord. God has the power to do anything. The psalm says come, my children and listen to me and I will teach you the fear of the Lord. That’s the line right before what Peter quotes. When we fear the Lord, we understand how large and great God is compared to us. We respect his commands, we respect his instruction, we heed his warnings. The Psalmist tells us to avoid evil tongues and deceit from our lips. We should be honest. We should be different, and turn from evil and do good. This supports Peter’s instruction in verse 9 that we shoudn’t repay evil with evil, or insult with insult. We should turn away, or repent. And this psalm acknowledges that our paths are or were at one point evil or inclined towards evil, our first instinct might be evil, or depravity. We need to repent and turn away from evil and towards good. We must be people that seek peace, and not just look for it, but pursue peace, and work for it. The Psalmist and Peter then remind us, God is real, He isn’t just an amoral force or an equation that has no subjective value of right and wrong. He isn’t just a concept ; Or a watchmaker who creates a universe and lets it run. He cares about us intimately, God is Love, which means he’s relational. Now the psalmist kind of uses a poetic or literary device where he compares God to a human. We understand that God is not made of matter, or constrained by physical dimensions. He Is omni present, he doesn’t have eyes or ears, but the Bible and this psalmist explains that He observes our behavior, and He listens to our prayers. His eyes are upon the righteous and his ears are attentive to our prayers. He works against those who do evil. And while those who do evil might not ascribe their misfortune or difficulty in life to God, the Psalmist explains that God is just and will make those things right. The question is do you want God to be on your side, or do you want the face of God to oppose you? It should be an easy preference. Peter asks the reader to consider that before he continues. But I will end here and let everyone consider those things until we finish Peter 3 next month. Just to remind you, if you are a follower of Jesus Christ , if you have been redeemed, you are forgiven, you are loved by God and you are identified with His righteousness, which means God is watching out for us and listening to our prayers. His face is not against you, and he sees you as perfect as his own Son.